Kait Mae

At this point in time, I don’t know who you are, and I probably won’t for a very long time.  I’m nineteen, in college, and going through a lot of stuff right now.  But, I have hope.  Hope for you, hope for me, hope for the future.

I’m writing this because I read a lot of letters people wrote for their future spouses, and I wanted to do the same.  I hope it’s okay that I made it public, but if it’s not, oh well.

I hope you’re doing fine, and I know you’re probably dating someone that’s not me right now.  I just want you to know that it doesn’t matter to me who you date now, as long as you’re loyal to me in the future.  I promise to always be yours, no matter what happens.

I’m letting you know now that you won’t need to ever buy me flowers or chocolate.  I’m not a big fan of fancy chocolates, and I’m allergic to flowers.  If you want to make me happy, just refer back to my last post.  Or watch a Disney movie with me.  Or just hold me.  That’s all I need to be happy.  I promise to do whatever I can to make you happy everyday we’re together.

I get excited over the smallest things.  If a dress I just bought, or even am just trying on, has pockets, I get so happy and giggly.  If I see a puppy in the park, I’m going to do a little happy dance but probably won’t pet it because of my allergies.  (Actually, that hasn’t stopped me from petting a dog.)  I promise you, right now, that I will try not to bring home a ton of pets without talking to you first.

I love dancing.  It helps me think, helps me relax, helps me get my feelings out.  I may not be good, or you may think I’m amazing, but I will dance at the most random times.  I’ll be in the kitchen and start dancing while cooking or baking.  I will almost always want to dance with you.  Please just do it.  I promise I will do the funniest dances for you.

I can get heated about something very quickly.  I don’t get angry often, it’s pretty rare, but it will happen one day around you.  I’m going to tell you in advance that if I’m mad at you or we’re arguing, do not kiss me in the middle of my sentence.  If I’m talking, don’t kiss me to make me stop.  Don’t interrupt my sentences; wait for me to finish.  That’s one thing that gets me heated.  Just ask me to stop talking nicely.  I promise to always work our problems out with you, and I’ll try not to be passive aggressive.

I want to grow with you.  I want to encourage you to be the best you can be.  I want to spoil you.  I want to love you with all my heart.  I probably won’t say “I love you” first.  Those three words scare me a little.  To me, they give someone the opportunity to hurt you.  But, one day, I know I’ll be ready to say them to you.  I promise that I won’t say those three little words unless I actually mean them.  And once I do say them, I promise to always tell you how much I love you.

I have to tell you now that I don’t want to have kids.  I want to adopt one day.  Pregnancy never seemed like the right thing for me to do.  I want to adopt our kids, let them know we wanted them.  And when we do that, I want them to know what love really looks like.  I never want them to question if we love each other.  I promise to be the best mom and wife one day.

I’m going to ask the most insane questions you can probably think of, and even some you would never think to ask.  Just bear with me.  I’ll yell out random things I think of in the shower.  I’ll make you think about everything thing, too.  I’ll question the meaning of life, I’ll come up with philosophical questions and make you think.  It’s just something I do.  I promise you that I will always listen to your answers and explanations, I’ll even start some debates to make us both think.

If we stay up really late, or I’m sleep-deprived, I’ll start having little laugh attacks.  Actually, scratch that – not little – very large laugh attacks.  I’ll start to have trouble breathing because of how much I’ll be laughing.  A few of my friends have witnessed my laugh attacks, and apparently it’s hilarious to watch.  I’ll start to find everything funny or amusing.  Sometimes, I’ll stop laughing just to start up again.  I promise you that you will start to laugh with me.

My family is a little crazy, I’m not the first to admit it.  It’s going to be confusing at first, and probably forever, but it’s my family.  I may not get along with them all of the time, but they’re my family.  You’re going to live through a lot of arguments and debates and spats, but hopefully, it’ll be worth it.  I promise to love your family like I love mine.

My appetite is another thing you’re gonna deal with.  I am very picky, yes, but I’m willing to try new things with you.  There’s a list of foods I want to try, and if you try them, you’re the best.  I also get hungry at the most random times.  Someone could mention a food I like and then I’ll crave that food for a week or until I finally get it.  I promise to eat whatever you make, and to try new things with you, and to share my food with you (as long as it’s not chocolate cupcakes, those are mine).

I will burst into song at the most inappropriate or random times.  I’ll start singing in the shower, the car, even just doing laundry.  I am constantly surrounded by music.  I don’t like silence.  I promise to have little concerts for you with my terrible singing every day.  And I’ll promise you right now, I won’t force you to musicals at the theatre, but I’ll always want to see them.

My friends are self-proclaimed psychos.  I’m going to apologize for them now.  They will stalk you on social media and test your patience.  If you truly love me, you’ll deal with them and pass their tests.  Trust me, they promise not to kill you, but will test you to the point where you’ll wish you were dead.  That’s how they’ll know you’re the one for me.

I have a lot of nightmares.  I kick in my sleep, and sometimes snore.  I turn into a koala bear when I have nightmares.  I’ll start twitching.  Just hold me tight when this happens.  It’s the only way to calm me down when I’m sleeping.  I promise to tell you about my good dreams, and my nightmares, just so you understand why I sleep this way.

I like the sound of rain on windows.  It’s calming.  I like to walk in the rain.  It’s a way to destress.  Please just walk in the rain with me.  I promise to make you hot chocolate or whatever drink you want when we get back inside.  I’ll even run you a hot bath or shower, if that’s what you really want/need after the walk.

I’m going to send random texts.  Sometimes, they’ll be important.  But most of the time, it’s going to just be pictures of something I found on Pinterest, probably cute animals pictures, if I’m being honest.  I promise to send you random pictures of your favorite animal every week, maybe even everyday.

I love reading, and the feeling it gives me.  I sometimes read out loud.  I write a lot, so I’m going to always have a notebook attached at my hip.  I promise to read to you when you want me to.  I’ll even read the embarrassing stories I wrote in middle and high school.

When we’re dating, I am going to steal your hoodies and jackets just because they remind me of you.  I promise to return them, but only after they stop smelling like you.  When they smell like you again, I’m going to take it back.

Now that that part is done, let me get on to the next section of this letter to you.

Please don’t look for me.  The more you look, the more time it will take.  Let us come together naturally; don’t force anything.

Please stay true to who you are.  Don’t be someone you’re not.  I want to fall in love with the real you, not the one you pretend to be.

Love,

Your Future Wife